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For Dec, privacy has always been part of who he is. So, when he got involved in the Unapologetically Me campaign, which included a photoshoot, it marked a turning point – not just for how he saw his stoma, but how he saw himself. In this interview, Dec talks about the first time he revealed his bag publicly, the quiet confidence he’s grown into, and what learning to love himself truly means.

Before the photoshoot, had you ever shown your bag or considered showing your bag to anyone at all?

The only people who had seen my bag before the photoshoot were medics or stoma nurses. I hadn’t shown my bag to even my wife. I’m a very private person so I just kept it to myself.

Can you describe the moment you lifted your top during the photoshoot?

What was going through your mind and what emotions did you feel? It felt liberating. Everyone else was doing which it made it easier for me. I didn’t feel pushed or pressured, but I felt supported. Being with others in the same position made a difference. Joshua’s positivity definitely rubbed off on me – and having Deborah and Tanya there who were both so confident gave me the reassurance I didn’t know I needed. I really enjoyed the day. It was a big step, but a good one.

Has anything changed for you since then? How do you feel about yourself and your body since?

I’d say I still feel the same in a lot of ways – I’m not suddenly full of confidence or anything like that. But I am more comfortable now. A little more open. I don’t think I’ll be lifting my shirt in Sainsbury’s anytime soon, but I don’t feel like I have to hide either.

How did the photoshoot and other opportunities like these help you get to a point of feeling confident to show your bag?

It’s the community. Being surrounded by people who get it makes all the difference. You realise it’s not unusual. It’s not shameful. There are a lot of people out there living with a stoma, and most of the time, you wouldn’t even know. That surprised me.

What has been the biggest challenge in terms of loving yourself and accepting your stoma?

Confidence has never really come easy for me. I struggled with my weight growing up, and I think that stuck with me. Some mornings, I’ll look down and see my bag and can feel a bit anxious. I know this is permanent – I’ll never have a reversal. So yes, it can feel heavy sometimes, just knowing it’s always there. But I try to take things one day at a time.

Was there a turning point for you in how you view your stoma and yourself? Was the photoshoot one of these moments for you?

Definitely. The photoshoot helped me see things differently. But even before that, I always had the thought in my head – if I didn’t have my stoma, I wouldn’t be here today. My chances of surviving cancer weren’t great; I know the surgeons and medical team gave me a second chance. I think about that often. And I’ve had so much support from family and friends – they’ve been amazing.

What would you say to someone who is struggling to accept themselves or feel afraid of showing their bag after surgery?

Everyone comes to terms with it in their own way. There are no rules. You don’t have to show your bag to anyone. But you’ll learn when and where you feel safe enough to do so. Just go with the flow. If it takes time, that’s ok. It should take as long as you need it to.

Has Confidence BE ® played a part in accepting your stoma and loving yourself again?

Yes. I tried virtually every bag when I first had my surgery. If someone sent me a sample, I tried it. Some gave me allergic reactions, some didn’t stick well, others just weren’t right. I’ve always came back to Confidence BE®. I’ve never had any issues with Confidence BE® - I’ve never had one single leak. That kind of peace of mind makes a huge difference. I used to carry spare clothes with me – now I don’t need to.

If you could go back and tell pre-stoma Dec one thing, what would it be?

I’d say: Look after yourself more. Eat better. Maybe drink a bit less – it’s a musician’s trait, I guess! And if I had told myself back then that I’d become a runner at 60 years of age, I would have split my sides laughing – I’ve never even run for a bus in my life! But here I am, still going. Still learning to love myself – one step at a time.

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Our Confidence BE^® sample packs come in either mixed colour packs (black, white and stone) or transparent/stone packs, giving you the opportunity to try the bag in all three colours. Please note that the mixed colour packs are NOT available on prescription they are for sampling purposes only. To see the full Confidence BE^® range that is available on NHS prescription, please download the full product code listing sheet.

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Samples currently only available to people living with a stoma in UK and Ireland. If you are not currently using a soft convex product, please speak to your Stoma Care Nurse before ordering a sample.

Flat Closed Mini Bag 13-55mm Starter hole* Transparent/Overlap Mixed		BM13MIX	Add to Order
Flat Closed Standard Bag 13-75mm Starter hole* Transparent Stone/Transparent	Large	BT1375ST	Add to Order
Flat Closed Standard Bag 13-75mm Starter hole* Transparent/Overlap Mixed	Large	B1375MIX	Add to Order
Flat Closed Standard Bag 13-55mm Starter hole* Transparent Stone/Transparent		BT13ST	Add to Order
Flat Closed Standard Bag 13-55mm Starter hole* Transparent/Overlap Mixed		B13MIX	Add to Order
Flat Closed Large Bag 13-75mm Starter hole* Transparent Stone/Transparent	Large	BLT1375ST	Add to Order
Flat Closed Large Bag 13-75mm Starter hole* Transparent/Overlap Mixed	Standard	BL1375MIX	Add to Order
Flat Closed Large Bag 13-55mm Starter hole* Transparent Stone/Transparent		BLT13ST	Add to Order
Flat Closed Large Bag 13-55mm Starter hole* Transparent/Overlap Mixed		BL13MIX	Add to Order
Convex Closed Mini Bag 13-25mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBM1325MIX		Add to Order
Convex Closed Mini Bag 13-38mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBM1338MIX		Add to Order
Convex Closed Standard Bag 21mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XB21MIX		Add to Order
Convex Closed Standard Bag 13-25mm Starter hole Stone Transparent	XBT1325ST		Add to Order
Convex Closed Standard Bag 13-25mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XB1325MIX		Add to Order
Convex Closed Standard Bag 13-38mm Starter hole Stone Transparent	XBT1338ST		Add to Order
Convex Closed Standard Bag 13-38mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XB1338MIX		Add to Order
Convex Closed Standard Bag 13-52mm Starter hole Stone Transparent	XBT1352ST		Add to Order
Convex Closed Standard Bag 13-52mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XB1352MIX		Add to Order
Convex Closed Standard Bag 25mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XB25MIX		Add to Order
Convex Closed Standard Bag 28mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XB28MIX		Add to Order
Convex Closed Standard Bag 32mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XB32MIX		Add to Order
Convex Closed Standard Bag 35mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XB35MIX		Add to Order
Convex Closed Standard Bag 38mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XB38MIX		Add to Order
Convex Closed Standard Bag 41mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XB41MIX		Add to Order
Convex Closed Large Bag 13-25mm Starter hole Stone Transparent	XBLT1325ST		Add to Order
Convex Closed Large Bag 13-25mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBL1325MIX		Add to Order
Convex Closed Large Bag 13-38mm Starter hole Stone Transparent	XBLT1338ST		Add to Order
Convex Closed Large Bag 13-38mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBL1338MIX		Add to Order
Convex Closed Large Bag 13-52mm Starter hole Stone Transparent/Overlap	XBLT1352ST		Add to Order
Convex Closed Large Bag 13-52mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBL1352MIX		Add to Order
Flat Drainable Mini Bag 13-55mm Starter hole* Transparent/Overlap Mixed		BDM13MIX	Add to Order
Flat Drainable Standard Bag 13-75mm Starter hole* Transparent Stone/Transparent	Large	BDT1375ST	Add to Order
Flat Drainable Standard Bag 13-75mm Starter hole* Transparent/Overlap Mixed	Large	BD1375MIX	Add to Order
Flat Drainable Standard Bag 13-55mm Starter hole* Transparent Stone/Transparent		BDT13ST	Add to Order
Flat Drainable Standard Bag 13-55mm Starter hole* Transparent/Overlap Mixed		BD13MIX	Add to Order
Flat Drainable Large Bag 13-75mm Starter hole* Transparent Stone/Transparent	Large	BDLT1375ST	Add to Order
Flat Drainable Large Bag 13-75mm Starter hole* Transparent/Overlap Mixed	Standard	BDL1375MIX	Add to Order
Flat Drainable Large Bag 13-55mm Starter hole* Transparent Stone/Transparent		BDLT13ST	Add to Order
Flat Drainable Large Bag 13-55mm Starter hole* Transparent/Overlap Mixed		BDL13MIX	Add to Order
Convex Drainable Mini Bag 13-25mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBDM1325MIX		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Mini Bag 13-38mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBDM1338MIX		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Standard Bag 21mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBD21MIX		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Standard Bag 13-25mm Starter hole Transparent Stone/Transparent	XBDT1325ST		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Standard Bag 13-25mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBD1325MIX		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Standard Bag 13-38mm Starter hole Transparent Stone/Transparent	XBDT1338ST		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Standard Bag 13-38mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBD1338MIX		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Standard Bag 13-52mm Starter hole Transparent Stone/Transparent	XBDT1352ST		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Standard Bag 13-52mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBD1352MIX		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Standard Bag 25mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBD25MIX		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Standard Bag 28mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBD28MIX		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Standard Bag 32mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBD32MIX		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Standard Bag 35mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBD35MIX		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Standard Bag 38mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBD38MIX		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Standard Bag 41mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBD41MIX		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Large Bag 13-25mm Starter hole Transparent Stone/Transparent	XBDLT1325ST		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Large Bag 13-25mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBDL1325MIX		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Large Bag 13-38mm Starter hole Transparent Stone/Transparent	XBDLT1338ST		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Large Bag 13-38mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBDL1338MIX		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Large Bag 13-52mm Starter hole Transparent Stone/Transparent	XBDLT1352ST		Add to Order
Convex Drainable Large Bag 13-52mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed	XBDL1352MIX		Add to Order
Flat Urostomy Standard Bag 13mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Stone		BUT13STSAMP	Add to Order
Flat Urostomy Standard Bag 13mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed		BU13MIXSAMP	Add to Order
Flat Urostomy Standard Bag 13mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Stone		BUL13MIXSAMP	Add to Order
Flat Urostomy Standard Bag 13mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed		BULT13STSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Standard Bag 21mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed		XBU21MIXSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Standard Bag 13-25mm Starter hole Transparent Stone		XBUT1325STSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Standard Bag 13-25mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed		XBU1325MIXSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Standard Bag 13-38mm Starter hole Transparent Stone		XBUT1338STSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Standard Bag 13-38mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed		XBU1338MIXSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Standard Bag 13-52mm Starter hole Transparent Stone		XBUT1352STSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Standard Bag 13-52mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed		XBU1352MIXSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Standard Bag 25mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed		XBU25MIXSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Standard Bag 28mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed		XBU28MIXSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Standard Bag 32mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed		XBU32MIXSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Standard Bag 35mm Pre-cut hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed		XBU35MIXSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Large Bag 13-25mm Starter hole Transparent Stone		XBULT1325STSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Large Bag 13-25mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed		XBUL1325MIXSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Large Bag 13-38mm Starter hole Transparent Stone		XBULT1338STSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Large Bag 13-38mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed		XBUL1338MIXSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Large Bag 13-52mm Starter hole Transparent Stone		XBULT1352STSAMP	Add to Order
Convex Urostomy Large Bag 13-52mm Starter hole Transparent/Overlap Mixed		XBUL1352MIXSAMP	Add to Order

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